Too much, this is too much...

With the less than 7 sleep hours again for the whole week, i woke up early just to prepare well for the meeting today, because i finally got the chance to ask you all the questions that i have waited so long to ask you today.

With the high anticipation to have an effective day, i reached your office earlier than the appointment time, before 10am. I waited for you until 10am, another 5 mins pass, and then another 10 mins pass....a lot of people in the lab walk pass me and ask me who am i waiting for, they told me that they havent seen you today, one said you might have gone for conference,MY FEELING WAS LIKE...OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WHY IS HE LIKE THIS!!!???I WAS STUNNED!!!!Still, they asked me to wait for another few more minutes.

Luckily one of your PHD student came and ask me and made a call to you. YOU SAID YOU ASKED ME TO COME ON YESTERDAY BUT I DIDN'T COME. I really feel sorry for missed your email. But, how could you just assume that was 'bring meeting forward' without even telling me???without leaving any notes on your door or whatever to inform me? You haven't been replying my email for three weeks, three weeks, IS THREE WEEKS, a lot of things could have been done within this period.

I came at 1.30pm as you wished. But, you were rushing and i only get to talk to you for like 5 minutes. Your voice that saying " You are fourth year student, these are simple stuffs, i shouldn't have teaching you all these!" still running in my head, just like a repeating music... Of course i understand that we can change the reference with long authors name into "et al.", is you assume that i dunno and keep talking, how would i have chance to say "Sir, actually i know". or should i just interrupt you that, actually i know, you dun have to say me like this? But, i just kept quiet.

I know you wasn't really looking properly at my poster. I know you were really rushing that you leave your signature at the space for my signature. I know you 're really busy that you have to ignore my email all these while. i know you really busy that you have to say "sorry, you have to be quick!" after the meeting was over.

When i pass you my draft, you replied me that " i tot you asked me not to look at your draft" Oh, that means you actually read my email! Of course, i replied you that, "i asked you not to look at the old draft , this new one". Thank you so much that you say come back and collect on monday.

If you realised, i wasn't that cheerful as last time. Today's meeting was really quiet.

I hope your words can be not so harsh on monday, but i welcome any helpful advice. =)

Too much of downs today, I 'm worried that my heart couldn't stand it anymore.
And, if you could be more responsible for your things than me.

I will 'climb' up very fast. Because i'm YAN MEI XIANG!
* My eyes brimming so many times today, i was really upsetting at all these. I know you guys couldn't understand or feel it, because you guys are not me. I wanted to find somewhere to release my feelings, but library too many people, i cant just go toilet and cry rite?i will scare people off, so i hide the feelings until 6 something in the evening, in front of eelin.