DIAO

From a very famous singer from Muar! :)

For a buddy...

I am sorry to hear what happened today.

I hope you are fine.

Be strong.

I know he will stay peacefully in heaven. He will.

From your buddy far in Uk,
Fat Shiang

I WILL FIND MY WAY...

Dear Robber,

Someone had seen you appearing around lately.

I wondered,frustrated,disappointed on the fact that you didn't reply my email, you didn't guide me through my write up, failed me to give me your golden advice when i need one, urgently.

But, I realised, why must I depend on you, if there is no such thing as guidance in this world, will people fail to find their way out? Obviously NO.

So, I decided to move on, I will find my way out even if you are not with me.

I WILL FIND MY WAY...

Best wishes,
May

If...

Robber,

There is something that i wanted to say for long, if you can make it clear to me at the beginning about my project, I wouldn't have wasted so much time on writing a wrong direction for my introduction part.

I still remember you said "You are at the right direction."

But, now it seems not.

5000 words on introduction, how much time do you need? Yes, that is how much time i have wasted.

Sorry, I am too dumb.

Also, should i feel thankful for you not replying my email after two weeks? You got me checking my mail everyday with a false hope. How is that feel if you were me?

I know i should feel grateful. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

Best wishes,
May

不要因為他人的一句話而在意太久

不要因為他人的一句話而在意太久

名專欄作家哈理斯(SydneyJ.Harries)和

朋友在報攤上買報紙，那朋友禮貌地對報販說了聲謝謝，但報販卻冷口冷臉，沒發一言。
「這傢伙態度很差，是不是？」他們繼續前行時，哈理斯問道。
「他每天晚上都是這樣的，」朋友說。
「那麼你為甚麼還是對他那麼客氣？」哈理斯問他。
朋友答道：「為甚麼我要讓他決定我的行為？」

一個成熟的人握住自己快樂鑰匙，他不期待別人使他快樂，反而能將快樂與幸福帶給別人。每人心中都有把「快樂的鑰匙」，但我們卻常在不知不覺中把它交給別人掌管。

一位女士抱怨道：「我活得很不快樂，因為先生常出差不在家。」
她把快樂的鑰匙放在先生手裡。
一位媽媽說：「我的孩子不聽話，叫我很生氣！」
她把鑰匙交在孩子手中。
男人可能說：「上司不賞識我，所以我情緒低落。」
這把快樂鑰匙又被塞在老闆手裡。
婆婆說：「我的媳婦不孝順，我真命苦！」
她把快樂的鑰匙放在媳婦手裡。
年輕人從文具店走出來說：「那位老闆服務態度惡劣，把我氣炸了！」

這些人都做了相同的決定，就是讓別人來控制他的心情。
當我們容許別人掌控我們的情緒時，我們便覺得自己是受害者，對現況無能為力，抱怨與憤怒成為我們唯一的選擇。

我們開始怪罪他人，並且傳達一個訊息：
「我這樣痛苦，都是你造成的，你要為我的痛苦負責！」

此時我們就把一重大的責任托給周圍的人，即要求他們使我們快樂。我們似乎承認自己無法掌控自己，只能可憐的任人擺佈。這樣的人使別人不喜歡接近，甚至望而生畏。但一個成熟的人握住自己快樂的鑰匙，他不期待別人使他快樂，
反而能將快樂與幸福帶給別人。他的情緒穩定，為自己負責，和他在一起是種享受，而不是壓力。
你的鑰匙在那裡？在別人手中嗎？快去把它拿回來吧！


Source: from a friend's note in facebook.

I think this is very good, i must share it with all of you! :)

I hope...

I hope all dissertation, essay, poster, leaflet, and whatever whatever i havent finish, can be done well before the due date, I don't want to do any last minute work, i just hope to go back Malaysia with a peaceful mind!hehe...

I hope you can get what you wanted to get!!

I hope my dreams can come true!

I hope i hope...too many wishes to say.

Back to reality, continue my very-interesting-write-up, yes, very interesting!(cai guai!)

I am SUPER HAPPY today!!!

SUPER HAPPY is because i got the news that my mum doesn't have to go through hysterectomy anymore because she was being misdiagnosed by doctor.

Second news - there will be another person joining my family soon!!!!

plus plus - we have come to our 2th year now! :)

I am really happy!!! Thank God!

Scary experience!

Not long ago, i experienced dizziness when i was sick. But, today i feel dizzy again after playing for about 10minutes of squash, with cold sweats, tachycardia ( fast heart beat), breathlessness. I just feel so cold and couldn't talk anymore. I can only reply Pui san who was frightened by me with face expression and my hand.

Haha...but everything went OK after i sit down for like 3 minutes. So, the moral of the story is sit down when you feel dizzy.

Normally i would (wake up late) skip my breakfast before sports. Luckily, today i had hot chocolate, chocolate roll and milo muffin as my breakfast(oops! everybody knows i eat a lot now!), or not i would have really fainted.

I can only explain my dizziness with blood donation in last tue. I hope there is nothing more than that. :)

5 perdana

Weather: Very good and Sunny***:)

yesterday i was doing a very fun recall exercise, to recall everything back in 5 perdana. Let's continue...

STory of 5 perdana:
in order to tell story of 5 perdana, I need to list out all the members first.
Our class live without malay students since form 4 because they went for asrama school . Below is whole list of them , "UNFORTUNATELY" they happen to be in same class with me!!!haha...

Guys : Ivan hoo, leong yi loong, Heng Suan, Ping Hwa, Hao Zi, Wei Lun, Kishole,Boon seng, Kee Yang, Chun Hong, Song Yan, Thomas Tey, Juan Yong.

Girls : Kim Fong, Me, Fuei Shian, Yan Shiang, Pau Fern, Suling, Meng Hong, Si Khim, Pei Ni, Pei Shin, Mee Peng, Jenny Teh, Pey Chin, Ly Woei, Hazeline Yap, Maysha Ramu.

There are 29 of us, our class was located just right above teacher's office and opposite canteen ( which Ping Hwa/Heng Suan always asked me to jump down to canteen)
* If you guys can recall i actually list out our names according to our sitting, and I hope that i spell all names correctly.

OUr class teacher : Ishak ( Heng Suan 's father , it's because they really look alike with curly hairs)
Our monitor and monitress: Heng Suan (Ishak 's son), Yan Shiang

Who is the 'unforgetable' student according to Ishak? ME!!!!!

Who is the 'unforgetable' person in my class?--Chun Hong , he got lots of nicknames called Volcano Lim, the old man( from our english teacher). Guys in my class likes to play a trick on him( ok , even me, don't know where my gut comes from), i think especially Heng Suan and Ping Hwa, do you guys agree? I still remember how he scolded me " bu yao yi wei ni shi nu zi, wo jiu bu gan da ni~~~aiyo...i was threatened!!so scare le :P)

Who are the ""famous ""people in my class?--Keeyang and Thomas Tey, can i tag you two as 'yellow kings'? Keeyang, i remember that you said me and kimfong "dai bu chu men " because we keep talking in the class, not-really-loudly. I always borrow the maths exercise books from them, and i copy them :P! They were my maths teacher!

Who always skip class? I think this award should give to Ivan before everyone of us got consolation prize. Our class will ponteng sekolah when it's near to exam, teacher's day,national day..etc without fail, until the extent that headmistress interviewed some of my classmates to find out the reason behind. OH NO~~~

Leong yi loong!Yes, i always called him in full name, i know it is rude to have call someone in full name. But, i just enjoy the fun of calling his full name. And, he will start complaining 'why you always call my full name"? Then i will say "I like!"

Heng Suan and Ping Hwa always kacau-ing me whenever i get called by teacher to read to whole class...they make me laugh while i am reading ; sometimes i couldn't continue reading but just laughing , so teacher will say "kamu duduk, tak payah baca". I still remember Ping Hwa leave a note in my "autograph " section saying that "Next time do not laughing on your own, look like an idiot!!"

Me and Kim Fong LIKE to put rubbish in Heng Suan 's schoolbag and he normally realised about it after he got home. Both of us LIKE to move our desks forward so that left little space for Heng Suan and Ping Hwa to move around. Hehe...so FUNNNNNNN!!!We also LIKE to play WATER WAR with left over water at the end of school day.

Hao Zi and Wei Lun, only get to see them few times after graduated. I know Wei Lun like to spend time in CC , actually Boon does so too.

Kishole was the only indian guy in our class, i wonder where is he now? Nobody keep in touch with him. He was the one who told us that every indian baby will get their eyebrows drew with something like crayon to make it dark and nice. I believe it.

Second row.

Boon and Keeyang. Boon is my cousin 's son, he is very good in those science subjects. Keeyang is the over-confidence people i have ever seen, okla, just kidding la..He is a funny person too!People now doing PhD d! Fuiyoh~~ We had same school bag last time, which we said is couple school bag , of course we are not couple!

Yan Shiang and Fuei Shian. Whua.. these two are really quiet girl, gentle? soft spoken??haha...most of the time la.* they will kill me if they read this.

Pau Fern and suling. Paufern, she is the one who always called me mushroom!!maybe she want me to call her pau, i know PAU might be her favourite name!haha...Cha SHAO PAU!!!Pau Pau , i can imagine the way of you giggling, then close your mouth with one hand. Suling always smile when i talk lame/cold jokes, then kim fong will check her understanding of my joke, she normally cannot understand my joke so she choose to reply with smile .poor me...sigh~~

Sikhim,Meng Hong, Pei NI, PeiShin. These four girls are in the same group, they always together. I know Meng Hong likes to draw something on her paper when teacher is teaching. Didn't pay attention o!!!!!Pei ni and peishin, i like to threaten them with my super pinch,say me somemore la!!haha! Sikhim was the president of girl scouts!Fuiyoh~~~

Third row.
volcano lim and song yan. If i am not mistaken, these two like to argue, . Song yan was the president of scout, he is studying law le!!!FUIIIIIIIIYOH~~~~This volcano lim always dream to become perdana menteri one day, he always read as though he is giving speech. I tried to offer him some fizzy drink when he came to my house during gathering, but he told me NO, because he need to maintain his good voice for choir. **People pls don't laugh** I wonder what is the consequence if he reads this, i might get buried under volcano.haha.

Jenny teh and mee ping. They are quiet too.

Ly woei and Peychin. Pey chin is known as "bai fa mo nu", she also studying pharmacy at the moment, you dun see her sort sort de, actually she is very geng !haha...Ly woei, good in badminton and also was the president of St. John Ambulance, my boss le!

Hazeline yap and maysha. They were those few people in our class who communicate in English. Maysha also studying pharmacy le! I wonder who still remember about the incident when we collected data regarding our height and features on face, Ping Hwa, do you?hehe...

Juan Yong and Thomas. Juan Yong was the only PENGAWAS in our class. Poor him. There are few times i called his name from the other end of the class Huang Juan Yong!!!!!He will answer..."you zen me...?" Me, kim fong and kee yang have to wait for thomas outside the toilet for quite long , do you remember?haha... what did you do in the toilet???

Some funny incidents.

One day, Ishak came with a "senyek" tie to my class, and very daring of me to tell him about his tie in front of whole class. "cikgu, kamu punya tali leher sudah senyek!" Then, ishak quickly adjust his tie shyly. He then said to me "kamu punya gigi pun senyek!" with a smile, he was so happy that he got something to counterattack and of couse everybody laugh ( i was wearing braces that time)

Ah hei was our physic teacher who talks with splashing saliva, this is why we came up with an idea to bring umbrella to class next time! He is the teacher who asked us to take out our ELECTRIC calculator instead of electronic calculator.From that on, we will ask among ourselves, do you bring your ELECTRIC calculator? No, i didn't le! I left it at home too big to carry to school! No, I din bring it , no socket here, mine need to plug into socket !..haha...( this happened in form 4 though)

Ishak refused to fill the comment section in our certificate of leaving school. He makes us run around to look for other teachers to write something for us. So, i asked him, "cikgu, kenapa kamu tak mau tolong kami tulis o ?" He response to my question slowly and said" saya tak tau kamu ada apa yang boleh saya puji" Haih..~~~gan may shiang, who ask you always kacau teacher with your broken malay?

to be continued...

What is the purpose of life?

I like to ask my mum some weird questions since I was a kid. For example, i remember myself asking why do "we" live in this planet? why there are so many different animals?Where are they come from?

My mum said chicken come from egg lo, then i asked where does egg come from ? she said chicken lo..round and round also no definite answer ,ask till she wanna surrender already.

Recently i start review my life, asking myself what is the purpose of life?

Are human born to be what we see in our society today? Are human destined to go through education system from age 7 to age 18( or higher if you want ); work from 9-5 a day; destined to go through ups and downs of life?

Some people spend their life wisely; some don't appreciate or even take care of themselves, they tend to knowingly do something which is not right, for example, suicide and drug addiction.

Some people are considered as successful in their life, they maybe well known like stars or richer or at least do something benefit their society or the world. Some people just go through easy, normal, peaceful life and they are satisfied with what they have for now. These difference depend on the level of satisfaction and environmental factors.

If people understand that everybody in this world are actually just human, war might not have started ; there will be no difference between human and hence no existence of stronger and weaker nation; the world economy will not get affected easily by so called strong and rich countries.

Till the time i feel like stop writing, i still cannot come to a conclusion of the purpose of life, but seriously I still can't figure out why I am human but animals are animals. Where are we from ?

Probably I should just set a purpose for myself and live with it, that is where the purpose of life comes from, i guess.

Tomorrow will be better, I hope. :) I know it will! I just hope everyone can live happily ! *wink

Meet the supervisor in Chinese new year!

I met my mystery supervisor on Tue , i actually had some negative impression of him which i heard from my senior before i meet him personally, that 's why making me a bit worry.

First question from him: So, what is your history? ( I was thinking --i am still alive, not yet a history le!)
my answer: I came from Malaysia, the 2+2 programme.

2nd question: why do you choose this project?
me:.....giving my strong reason behind!

and then we supposed to fill up the safety practice form together and fill up the hazard column. And, please have a guess before you read the following......Teng teng teng emily teng!!!!!

The hazard of my project is COMPUTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my supervisor 's advice is "Take time to rest out"

... ... ... ...
too much details to be written on this page...so let's cut the story short. At the end, he suggested me no need to pass up the safety practices form as my project does not require me to go Laboratory. After gave me a 14 pages journal to bring home, and some chat over what he expecting in two weeks time ( which i set for myself after so much of questioning) and bla bla bla...so we ended the first meeting in 30 mins time.

Oh well, the reason that i do not need to attend Lab is because according to my Dr supervisor, he needs 3 to 6 months to train me become a surgeon, but my project is obviously less than 3 months. So, i will just review people's journals, look at how neuroscience student perform his/her experiment, do some questionnaire for 3rd and 4th yr student and produce a leaflet!!!!!People, i need to give out 100 questionnaires, pls give me back , dun keep to yourself a!haha...I don't want to receive 2 only (from eelin and liling ).

Since the last meeting until now, i haven't start doing anything at all, and the day just pass day by day. I shall start doing something now..I just hope everything will be alright and my supervisor will be nice to me and and i hope that exam result which is coming out in one week time will be fine too!!!!!Hope everyone Happy!!!!!!!!!

Happy chinese new year!!!!!!!!!Party ~party~@!!!!

ZHI ZU

Hello people!!!(with my high pitch voice!!)
Another great song(of course with great lyrics too) to share with all of you! Please listen to the lyrics carefully.... : )


I still remember the days when i was listen to this song while driving to uni in Semenyih! I miss everything in Malaysia, and ESPECIALLY the SUN, my lovely SUN can you be fair a little bit?
Shouldn't you spend equal time and energy in both Malaysia and UK ? I think you should!I miss you so much , do you know?

I want to go back! :( It's so cold, I lost my interest in everything now.

But, when i thought of zhi zu ,then i will smile again , like this :D!!!!

Ohya, tomorrow (3/12/2008) if you are free from 6.30pm onwards, please kindly come to Beeston free church to spend your evening! You know what??? There will be a concert there!!!!!REASON FOR THE SEASON!And, you will see me perform in the choir and other classmates too!!!Don't worry we are not singing old songs!! So, come la come la!

p/s: it's very near to Broadgate!

I hope you enjoy your life! :)

Mood: Good :)

I was quite stress few days ago, because i was worrying too much. But today after jason shared something to me, he remind me of something i used to forget in my life, and i feel better afterward. Thank you dear!

When you are unhappy about things happen in your life, stop for a while, look around at people in this world and compare to yourself, do you still feel unhappy about your life?~zhi zu chang le~

I just want to share a song from Jay Chou with all of you--Dao Xiang (Fragrant Rice)
I just love the lyrics a lot! If you cannot understand the meaning, just paste it into translator, but one thing for sure, i know you will like the song!

So, please enjoy!

我變了嗎?

天空今天穿上了一系列灰色的衣裳.

讓我不自然想問到底什么時候了?

什么時候開始我們之間多了一樣東西?

一樣我們都希望它不存在的東西--距離

曾幾何時我向大家說過,我們一定會跟以前一樣的

但事實告訴我說我錯了, 而我也認同了

朋友說: 你變了!

我說: 我說我曉得, 也感覺到

朋友說: 不是你的錯, 是你不得不去英國

我再問: 我真的變了嗎?

朋友2說: 你變了嗎? 如果有,應該也是變得不可愛了!

變, 我高興嗎?

很肯定的答案, 一點都不

我知道我變了

不再亂笑

不再大膽

不再果斷

不再開朗

不再說冷笑話(少了)

但我成熟了

因為時間的不同

因為各忙各的

因為環境因素

我們之間多了一道牆

我們還能像周哥說的回到過去嗎?

我有選擇嗎? 我也不想這樣的

如果我能做小叮當的時光機回去

我希望這一切的變化從沒發生過

只因我在乎我們的友情…

I can feel...

I can feel millions of pain receptors around my teeth and gum sending their messages to my brain now....telling me that I AM IN PAIN!!!!

I have not been wearing retainer regularly for three weeks. After i give some pressure and force to the retainer so that it could sit nicely into its position as i wish...My tears drops...it's so painful...

Just want to write this down

Very happy
Another long hour
4 hours...
~4 hours again
Nobody knows what i am talking about
Only I know :)

Malaysian Game!!!

Today 8/11/2008 is Nottingham Malaysian Game.



I personally think that Malaysian should come for this game, you can see malaysian everywhere. You just feel like you're in Malaysia with same kind of people who you used to see while in Malaysia. Since when i so patriotic? It might be a place where you will randomly meet someone you know and"eh...how are you?" haha..



Surprisingly, this year lesser people visit NMS games compare to last year despite the fact that the number of teams registered for games have increased.



Okla, I was there since 11.30am and my only concern is about the volleyball match. Nottingham team didn't manage to secure their championship. Sheffield is the Champion of volleyball this year :). The score was actually very close ---25:23. I hope nobody sees how i cheer/scream for the team using English, Mandarin, Cantonese...haha..



Second sports that will attract my attention is Basketball. Don't ask me why? I just like to watch basketball match even though i do not like (because my stamina is not good enough to play!!) and do not know how to play. IMPERIAL COLLEGE manage to secure their championship!!!!WOOHOOO.....I actually can't remember the scores, but i know it was very close also. They always shout IC IC, after that only i know it's actually stands for IMPERIAL COLLEGE. I actually sat among those IC reserve players and hence i cheer for IC instead of NOTTINGHAM!!!Hahaha...betrayer!!! Oops..i forgot to say that it was IMPERIAL vs. NOTTINGHAM in final!!



Conclusion : Nottingham Malaysian Game is good!!!And, i am seriously tired and cacat now. Look at this!!!This is what i get at the end of the day after volleyball game and i know this is unavoidable! This makes me walk like orang cacat when i go up and down staircase!!!But, still i enjoyed and appreciate the chance given to play volleyball in my last year!Yahooooo!!!I love volleyball!!

Long time no see VOLLEYBALL! :)

Don't doubt yourself on what you are looking at now. It 's my hand. If you look more clearly , you can find that there are a lot of small red dots on my hand. Actually on both of my hands, you know where is the other hand gone to? The other hand obviously is holding camera and taking picture la! (oh....rachel..why you so cold???)haha....

This is what I get after one hour practice with new people who i never played with before. If you didn't play volleyball regularly, this is what you will get ...swollen..pain....redness. I actually got one bruise on my right knee with 5 cm diameter and just beside it is another red patch.

I wonder how many blood vessels had sacrificed themselves in this practice?Must be lots...

My last volleyball training were form5 ..which is 2003..now is 2008 already....imagine it has been five years ago since my last training. I am no longer the girl who can play well for volleyball, i have to admit this. :(

I just wonder how am i going to play for Malaysian Game with pain on my hands, bruise and blister on my palm. And, most important things i DON'T have tacit understanding with other players....which is actually an important part of volleyball team...TEAMWORK is very important!!!

Good luck tomorrow..!Might be my last play before graduate.....:)

A morning call from Tsb pharmacy....

"qin peng qi you ni ting wo shuo..........................."

I got a call from Tsb pharmacy at 8.45am, following my email to reject their offer.

Firstly, she asked me the reason of rejecting them. I said i have offer from another company which suits my condition better. She then ask me which company is that, why i prefer that company? I didn't want to say because that company is better and i prefer to work for them. so i just simply say that because better salary and benefits those kind of things which obviously isn't my main concern. If i know more harsh things are coming, i wouldn't have answer like that.

She was nice at the beginning. She said that if i am concern about these, we can further discuss the terms and conditions. Again, I stress that i still won't take the offer.

Here is where the transformation occurs....
She starts shooting me...

1. She said i have been unprofessional because they actually sent me two offer letters since September but I took long time to reply their offer.
This isn't true because Tsb Pharmacy actually made an offer to me recently. I was on hold since August .

2. After i clarify this thing with her, she said there is actually two offer letters but first offer letter was lost on its way. After a second check, she found out my offer was made on 10/10/2008.

3.Then she starts change the topic, she said offer was made on 10/10/2008, why do i take so long time to reply?
I said i only receive offer letter from them after two weeks, which is on 28/10/2008.I receive offer from another company after i received offer letter from them. I took about two weeks to reply them because i need time to make my decision. But i found out it's only 8 days but not two weeks.
SHE SAID TWO WEEKS IS TOO LONG TO MAKE A DECISION. I replied her that i think i have the right to make decision in two weeks. Even for first round candidates, RPSGB also mention must give them time until 1st week of OCT, how come i can't have the TWO WEEKS?

4. She change topic again this time. She said because of me they have turned down other candidates. I explain to her that i was told by her manager that the place i have offered to already have enough students and my offer was a special arrangement. So, I have considered that no other candidates are waiting for my post.

For whatever she says, it 's just not right, can she please check everything before she actually make a call to people first thing in the morning and ruin ppl's mood.

I did apologise to her about reject the offer. But, throughout the conversation i heard at least four times " I have to report to your university about this, this is unprofessional"...At the end, I starts get angry and be more firm about my stand. I know I am wrong but i haven't sign anything, I already try my best to reply you asap. Why do you keep threatening me?I am just a student, lose me will lose your whole company is it ????(obviously i din say this to her la)

The last things she said to me is still the same threatening words. And , me ? "OKAY FINE. THANK YOU VERY MUCH."

I know i know i have made a lot of mistakes in my pre-reg offers. I learnt my lessons. Can you please have some mercy on students being pressured on making decision? Company can miss their words reject or accept as long as they like. But students? Drag n drag your time, put you in on-hold list for ages,BUT when they need an answer, you must give response straight a way!!!!We as student has no right for more than 2 weeks to make a decision.

Anyway, for everyone who concerns about my problems. I am okay now. I have talked to people in SCHool of Pharmacy and my tutor. They say there is nothing Tsb pharmacy can do to me. They will support me but i need to write an email to them to explain what is happening, so that when complaint letter comes in, they can response straight a way.


Lesson :
Do not agree on anything that you think you are not satisfy with it .
Do not verbally accept anything even though there is no formal documents signed as proof.
Be really firm for those who threatens you!
Make a quick decision!


I know this kind of things not only happen on me. I mean pressure from company. But puisan I am not going to write to RPSGB because i don't want get into any troubles anymore.

Conclusion:
This morning call ruins my whole day :(

I really have learnt the lesson, I will make sure from now on nobody will describe me as unprofessional anymore.
I am really sorry for all inconveniences caused.Sincerely....

I hate retainer!!

Suddenly tonight i got a strong intense to tell everyone that i hate wearing retainer..!!!!

I hate to wear it or sometimes even chose to forget about it .Very purposely* But when i know is not right to do this and start wearing retainer again...what i get is - PAIN.

According to dentist, i have to wear it for life-long. Probably i can only get rid of it when i have to start wearing another thing - denture. T..T